Going through divorce can be life changing, either in a negative or a positive way. It can throw you to
the darkest place and make you question everything. Your self-confidence could be shattered and your
self-worth and self-esteem could hit rock bottom. However, it doesn’t have to be this way. With the
right guidance and the right mindset, a divorce can be a powerful time of reconnecting with yourself and
rebuilding your self-esteem so you emerge from the experience more confident than ever before.
Here are a 5 ways to reclaim your self-worth after a divorce:
1. Allow yourself to grieve the loss.
Feelings of grief that are pushed to the side or ignored will follow you into your next relationship and prevent you from ever completely moving on. Allow yourself to miss the good things about the relationship and be honest with yourself about the bad things. Open up to a friend about what you are feeling or keep a journal to record your thoughts and feelings and reflect on them.
2. Do not think of divorce as a failure.
Sometimes, relationships just run their course. Divorce is fairly common and nothing to be ashamed of because we all have the right to move on from anything in our lives that isn’t serving our best interests.
Instead of telling yourself that you “failed” at your relationship, tell yourself that you have outgrown the relationship and it is now time to transition to the next chapter of your life.
3. Don’t assume your children are irreparably damaged by the divorce.
Research has shown that a living situation in which there is frequent conflict is damaging to children.
Additionally, children who grow up seeing unhealthy relationships can model those types of behaviors in their own relationships later in life. Eliminating that source of conflict and unhealthy relationship modeling from your children’s lives is actually a good thing. Just be sure to be respectful of their feelings for your ex and let them know it is okay to express what they are feeling.
4. Take care of your health.
If you already have a self-care routine, ask yourself what you can do to improve it. If you do not have a self-care routine, this is the perfect time to establish one. Find a diet and exercise regimen that works for you and set realistic goals for yourself to stay on track. Exercise releases endorphins that trigger good feelings and helps you focus. When you are crushing your goals, you will feel amazing!
5. Reach out for support.
No one has to go through a divorce alone unless they choose to. Open up to a friend or colleague who may have had a similar experience, or join a support group. Lots of people have experienced divorces or breakups and you may be surprised at how listening to other people’s perspectives can help you deal with what you are going through and remind you that you are not in this alone.
Rebuilding yourself after divorce will not happen overnight, but if you make the choice to heal and love yourself instead of blaming yourself, you will reclaim your self-worth and your self-esteem so you can move forward as the most confident version of you without repeating your past.