Personal Empowerment

4 Pillars of Self-love

Self-love is the first step to finding a partner that truly loves you for you. Without a clear understanding of who you are as an individual, it is difficult to attract the perfect partner, but when you have a healthy relationship with yourself, you will know your value and never settle for less. Do you know the 4 Pillars of Self-love? I am going to break down each one and discuss why they play an important role in building a strong and healthy relationship with yourself: 1. Self-care This incorporates much more than just a massage or a spa day. While those are both good options for self-care and relaxation, self-care should include paying attention to more than just your physical needs. Positive self-talk, nourishing your mind by learning new things, and establishing a healthy routine that you can stick to are all important aspects of self-care. Remember, self-care is not a reward. It’s your given right because you are worthy just by being you. 2. Self-acceptance True self-acceptance is embracing who you are, without any qualifications, conditions, or exceptions. It is the foundation of self-esteem because even at your lowest point, you will know your true value. You will not let your flaws or your setbacks define you and you will not entertain relationships that do not align with your core values. 3. Self-compassion Rather than ignoring your pain or experiencing it with self-criticism, be mindful of your experiences and honest with yourself about how you feel without being judgmental. It is important to be understanding toward yourself when you suffer, fail, or feel inadequate because it is a part of life and only temporary. 4. Self-appreciation This means being thankful for who you are and recognizing the value that lies within you. True self-appreciation is not feeling like you are better than others, but rather it is knowing your strengths and believing that you are a unique and valuable person no matter what. As you can see, Self-love is about much more than just exercise and R&R. It’s cultivating your core belief about yourself and taking the time to reinforce that belief through introspection and positive thoughts and actions.

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5 Tips for Breaking Toxic Habits

We all have habits. Some are healthy and useful like having open communication with others or keeping a journal for your daily experience and thoughts. But other habits, such as self-sabotaging behaviors or using work to avoid your relationship problems, can become a toxic cycle if they are not addressed. Breaking toxic habits can be difficult at first but it is possible with the right mindset and the right course of action. If you want to break a toxic habit, try these tips and remember, it is a process that requires accountability and consistency! 1. Identify your triggers. Track your habit for a few days and identify the patterns you see such as what time of day the toxic behavior usually occurs and what you are thinking and feeling when it occurs. If the triggers are something you can change or remove, that will help you to avoid repeating the behavior. If the triggers are not something you can avoid or remove, recognizing what triggers the toxic behavior will help you to get ahead of the problem and be prepared to stand your ground when a triggering situation arises.  2. Focus on the WHY. Identify WHY you want to break this toxic pattern and write those reasons down. Remind yourself of that whenever you start to feel the urge to repeat the toxic behavior. Leave sticky notes or reminders for yourself so you stay connected to your why and focused on your original intention every day. 3. Practice mindfulness. Pay attention to your daily routine and the way the toxic behavior impacts your wellbeing. When you fully realize the way a certain negative impacts the habit is having on your life, you will be more motivated to change that behavior. If you encounter a setback, use that as a learning experience and ask yourself what you could have done differently in that situation and what you can do in the future to set yourself up for success. Staying mindful and connected to the process is much more important than getting it right on the first try.  4. Change your environment. When you find yourself thinking about old habits, go for a walk or a drive until the feeling passes. If you notice a certain place or person or activity triggers the unwanted behavior, make a conscious effort to change up your routine to avoid those triggers. Small additions to your environment that promote replacing a bad habit with a healthy habit are also useful. For example, if you are trying to reduce your evening screen time, place a book to read or a journal to write in on your nightstand or coffee so you have something to reach for besides your phone or laptop before going to sleep. 5. Reach out for support. Tell a friend or loved one about the change that you are making and ask them to be available should you need support, and ask them to hold you accountable if they notice you repeating the toxic behavior pattern. If you are trying to break a habit while dealing with other challenges such as relationship problems or health problems, you may want to enlist the help of a professional so you can reach your goal without adding extra stress to an already stressful situation. It might not seem like it in the beginning stages but after some time, the toxic behavior will feel less automatic and eventually it will be replaced by new, healthier habits. Just be sure you are replacing the toxic behavior with a healthy behavior and not trading one bad habit for another. And remember, when you are going through the process of breaking a toxic pattern, it is so important to be patient with yourself and prioritize self-care and wellness. If you feel like you need additional support or direction to rid yourself of a toxic habit, coaching can help! Reach out to me any time to schedule a FREE consultation so we can get you on the right track to a healthier, more fulfilling life! 😊💕

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10 Tips to Grow Your Confidence by Breaking Negative Cycles

Low self-esteem is a vicious cycle that can leave you feeling unmotivated to change what is making you feel down in the first place. Everyone has bad days, but if you do not have the confidence to try to change the root cause of your negative feelings, then your low self-esteem will continue to hold you back from living the life you desire and deserve. Fortunately, there are things that you can do to break this negative cycle. 1. Make a list of all of your accomplishments. It can be easy to forget all of the things you’ve achieved so making a list of your accomplishments for you to reflect on from time to time will help you to redirect negative self-talk by replacing it with reminders of all the wonderful things you are capable of doing. 2. Learn a new skill. You can get stuck in a pattern of negative thinking when you can’t see any meaningful change or progress happening in your life. When you learn a new skill, your self-confidence will grow because you will see that you are talented and capable of more than just your day to day routine. 3. Do something creative. Creativity helps to stimulate your brain, so find something creative to do that you enjoy and let your mind wander. It’s not so much about the end result as it is about the process so remember to have fun! 4. Determine your core values. When we live out of line with the things we value and believe, we will not feel very good about ourselves. Learning who you are and what you stand for, and then living in accordance with those values will undoubtedly increase your confidence. 5. Help someone. When you help someone else, you’ll feel confident and a sense of achievement. Think about some of your talents and interests and put them to use through volunteering in your community or helping a friend or family member. 6. Get inspired. There are many books, articles, and podcasts that focus on the stories of others who have overcome issues or setbacks, and these stories can inspire you to do the same. Inspirational stories are a great way to shift your perspective on challenges from negative to positive. 7. Take care of your appearance. Self-care is not selfish! Treating yourself with love and respect is a must if you want to build your confidence. When you respect yourself, you not only feel good about yourself, but you also establish a standard for how you allow others to treat you. 8. Focus on what you can change. Some things in life are out of our control and getting stuck on these aspects of life is not only futile, but also frustrating and bad for your confidence. When you focus your energy on the things you can control, you will see results and your confidence will soar. 9. Stop worrying about what others think. The one person whose opinion matters is your own! When you are living a life that aligns with your core values, you will be the most confident version of yourself. The opinions of others cannot bring you down if you know that you are on the right path! 10. Avoid negative people. There will inevitably be people in your life who always seem to bring you down. It may be best to let those people go, or to at least limit your interactions with them. Find the people that lift you up and surround yourself with those positive people as often as you can. Positivity is contagious!

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Self-Awareness – Tools for Achieving Your Full Potential

A lack of self-awareness can be a major obstacle standing in the way of your ability to achieve the happiness and the success you deserve. It’s probably safe to say that we know our friends’ flaws better than they do, but we may not be the best person to recognize our own flaws that may be holding us back from achieving our full potential. While it is certainly human nature to pick and choose what traits, if any, you acknowledge in yourself, failing to see the big picture when it comes to your personality and behavior will not do you any favors. If you want to achieve meaningful personal growth and evolve into the best version of yourself, here are some strategies that can help.

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