The essence of coaching is about behavioral change. What is it that holding you back from making the change? Do you think you are not smart enough, capable enough, worthy enough, understood enough, so you stop yourself even before you start? If you do, you are not alone. There are two factors that play a critical role for any behavioral change: the IMPORTANCE and the CONFIDENCE. In most cases, people know it is important to make a change but it’s the self-doubt that holds them back. Some people are not confident that they will achieve their goal so they might as well not even try. The truth is your mindset impacts your actions, and your actions determine the results.
So how to boost your self-confidence so that you feel empowered to achieve your goals and be a better version of yourself every day?
Today, I want to focus on one thing that is easy, simple and effective for improving self-confidence, which is writing the gratitude journal.
The concept of writing the gratitude journal is nothing new. There are different templates and ideas to write a gratitude journal and the key is to write down a number of experiences that you feel grateful for. It could be something small and simple to be taken granted for, such as the shower in the morning, the cup of coffee to start your day, or something big such as your health or your family. Then you can add the reasons of why you are grateful for these things to give you a deeper sense of gratitude.
Here is how you make a small change on a gratitude journal entry to make a different impact on your self-confidence. After you write down each thing that you are grateful for, you can add “What did I do to deserve it?”. For example, if you are grateful that your kids love you, what did you do to deserve this? You are a great mom, this is why you deserve this. Then write it down and write in details, such as “I’m thankful that my kids love me, because I am a great mom. I am loving, caring and patient.” If you are grateful that you received a thoughtful gift from a friend, then think “What did you do to deserve this sweet gesture?”. You are a great friend to that person, this is why you deserve this. Then write it down and write in details, such as “I am thankful for my friend, because I am a good friend for her too. I am reliable, I am a good listener and I am trustworthy.”
Examples of a deeper sense of self-appreciation:
“I am grateful that I passed that exam, because I am diligent and persevere.”
“I am grateful that I got the promotion in my career, because I am capable and smart.”
“I am grateful that I am healthy, because I have good self-regulation that helps me to stick with my healthy lifestyle.”
“I am grateful for that cup of coffee this morning, because I remember to get more coffee before it runs out. I am a good planner.”
“I am grateful that I had a good conversation with my spouse today, because I am good at communicating and I am compassionate.”
“I am grateful that I had great time with my children doing arts and crafts today, because I am creative and fun”.
Each time when you write down an experience that you are grateful for by adding your deep sense of self-appreciation, you are reinforcing your strengths, and you are practicing your “confidence” muscles. Believe it or not, sometimes we underestimate our strengths or we don’t even realize all of the strengths we have until put our intention on them. It is much easier to think about your strengths when there is something specific to relate to and writing the gratitude journal is a perfect approach for reinforcing confidence. Try this exercise for a couple weeks and you will notice the boost of the positive emotions, not only about gratitude but also the confidence. With a confidence building exercise such as this you can be wherever you want to be. You are unstoppable!
If you’re presenting yourself with confidence, you can pull off pretty much ANYTHING! –Katy Perry