Relationships can end for many different reasons, but regardless of the circumstances, the ending of a relationship can be one of the most challenging situations to go through. And while it may be difficult to hear this, especially if you are currently going through a breakup, the period of your life following a breakup is a transformational one…and it can be one of the best times of your life if you allow yourself to embrace it.
After a breakup, you have two choices: you can either believe you are a failure and let the breakup consume you and bring you down, or you can view the breakup as an opportunity to grow while you reconnect with yourself so you can emerge stronger and more confident than ever. I can tell you from personal experience that the initial discomfort and pain you will feel at the beginning of the growth process after a breakup is so worth it in the end. It is an opportunity to embark on a new chapter of your life that will lead you to your true love and the life you deserve. If you want to find your true love, you need to HEAL yourself first, Empower Yourself and Love Yourself as a foundation for a healthy and loving relationship with others.
How do I know this? Because I lived through it! When I was in my 20s, I worked for a global company and was married to my college sweetheart. Deep down, I was exhausted, deeply disconnected with my inner self, and profoundly lonely. My ex thought he knew what was best for me and somehow I was convinced he was right. Eventually, I was able to leave that relationship but I did not take the time to heal and as a result, I quickly jumped into another relationship before I realized I jumped back into the fire. After that, I didn’t know what to trust or whom to trust anymore, including myself. And that was when I rewrote my story. I began to ask myself questions that I never asked myself before, like “What do I want?” “What is the BEST version of myself that I want to be?” And it was through this process that I reconnected with myself to finally figure out who I was and what I was truly looking for.
Here are my top 5 actions you can take to reclaim your power and reinvent yourself after a breakup:
- Surround yourself with YOUR people. Now it’s time for you to let go of the people who only fit your past but not your future. Surround yourself with the people who see your value, lift you up and bring out the best in you. Ask yourself, “Who really gets me and values me?” and “Who do I admire?” and gravitate toward those people. Make sure you are spending your time with positive people because positivity is contagious!
- Acknowledge and reflect on your feelings. Write down your feelings in a journal and reflect on them. It’s easy to sweep your true feelings under the rug or act like you are not affected by the situation, but that doesn’t address your true feelings. It only pushes them aside. Instead, imagine new possibilities for your life and write down some ideas related to how you can make them happen.
- Revisualize your dream life. One thing I want you to realize is that nobody can take away your dream life. Your partner is gone but it doesn’t mean your dream life is gone with them. Oftentimes people are devastated after a broken relationship not because that person is gone but because of the thought that their dream life is over. The truth is: It is YOUR dream life and you are the one who gets to build it. So reflect on the life you still want to build and how would you make it different? What do you want to change? What kind of partner would you want to be together in your dream life? Whatever the answer, you are in the perfect position to focus on yourself so you can figure out what truly brings you joy and fulfillment independent of anyone else.
- LOVE yourself the way you always want to be loved. You don’t have to wait for others to love you. You are the ultimate source of love. LOVE yourself the way you want to be loved and cared for. You can’t have a healthy relationship with others before you have a healthy relationship with yourself. When you love yourself wholeheartedly, not only do you have more capacity to love others, but you also won’t tolerate others who love and respect you less than you deserve.
- Let go of your past with forgiveness. Regardless of what happened, you will need to forgive the past if you want to move forward. Resentment and anger are easy to hold on to and bitterness is easy to maintain. But living that type of life with that type of mindset will never lead you to happiness. Even if you know you are not to blame, your anger and resentment will hold you back from embracing your true life.
As you do the work each day, you will feel more empowered and confident. You will see a hopeful future and you will feel your momentum grow. Remember this is an opportunity to transform into the strongest and best version of yourself. Be gentle and patient with yourself. One step at one time. You can do this!! 💓
